I’m not being productive.
For several reasons: Because of roadblocks. Because of paralysis. Paralysis based on fear. Fear of failure. Fear of wasting time.
Yesterday it was roadblocks, today it’s fear. Fear of roadblocks. Fear of wasting time. And that’s irrational.
I’m not doing anything productive because I fear if I start on it, I’ll hit roadblocks and it will become a time sink. I’ll run out of time, which means money.
So I’m anxious to not get involved in something that will eat up my time.
Networking takes up time. Truth is, I don’t know how to network. If I gain contacts, I don’t know what to do with them. I don’t know how to do marketing either, but I know it takes up time, so I avoid doing it. I have no idea how to find real customers. My instinct says “build it and they will come” — but what is “it”?
I know a QA site is a good idea (if poorly named) because I’d pay a lot of money to have one right now. But I’m afraid to build one. I want to start from scratch, and develop the integrated applications I know I want, and then integrate them. Not integrate ones I don’t like and don’t want to spend time trying to improve because they have a model I don’t agree with. And of course, then I’d have to market it to convince other people what is self-evident — that my model is better. Only what if it’s not? I could be wrong, but the only way to find out is to build it.
But I don’t have the luxury to take that much time, and so I wait.